1. I attempted a “healthier” version of banana bread, following the instructions to the letter.

2. While said bread is in the oven I: a. bashed my lower left arm into a door handle, developing a large and painful bruise, and b. burned my lower right arm on the oven rack, resulting in a red, inflamed welt.

3. Checked and rechecked said bread for doneness.

4. Realized this “recipe” was code for mushy hot oven bricks.

5. Removed mushy hot oven bricks and lobbed em on the counter to rot.

6. Drank a very large beer.


7. Disposed of now lukewarm mushy oven bricks.

I haven’t had a recipe go this awry since the time I tried to whip up a white pasta sauce in a cast iron pan. (Do NOT attempt that, ever!) Sheesh.

(And my other half is far away for work. I miss him already, very much so.)

At least my very large beer was delicious.